Politicians make headlines all the time, and 2013 was a big year in the papers for Mayor of Toronto, Canada, Rob Ford.
Between smoking crack, rumors of gallivanting around with prostitutes and saying the word “pussy” on live television (no, he wasn’t talking about a Russian dissident punk band), Ford managed to make everyone’s jaws drop with his antics, so we can only imagine how many people he owes individual apologies to, despite his public ones.
What better way to apologize than by sending out some thoughtful Christmas gifts? We have here Ford’s Christmas shopping list. Take a look and feel free to get some gift ideas for your own friends and family who you may have upset this past year — we’re hoping you won’t need to though.
1) His drug dealer
After the news of Ford smoking crack cocaine broke his celeb status skyrocketed, especially since every news source ever was scrambling to purchase the footage of him doing it. For this little gem, Ford owes his drug dealer a big thank you, preferably with a nice Rolex watch, because just like women love money, drug dealers love watches.
2) Former Staffer
Allegations claim that Ford once asked a now former staffer for oral sex. This poor woman deserves a new car and enough funds to cover her therapy bills as Ford’s advances were probably the most traumatic experiences she faced this year.
3) Renata Ford
As he already stated to the press, Ford will be giving his wife “a nice check” for Christmas because “women love money”. Using cash to cover up for hanging with hookers and smoking crack on film is probably the best Ford can do for his not often seen wife, Renata.
Ford owes his biggest apology to Canada. Even though he is only the Mayor of Toronto, his embarrassing antics give the entire country a bad name and the only acceptable gift to make up for this is his resignation from office. This way, the mayor can keep up his sinful behavior and spare Canada the embarrassment that has become Rob Ford.
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