Hey comic book nerds, got a hot date Friday night? Of course not.
While your mom has spent the last week trying to get the smell of Halloween out of your Thor costume, you and your buddies have probably been planning the most epic bro movie night ever for the much-anticipated release of Thor: The Dark World. But before you whip out your hammers and hone those husky, British accents to make complete Asgards of yourselves, I urge you not to give up on women just yet. With the right preparation, Thor: The Dark World can make the ultimate date movie that’ll leave her screaming like thunder before you even make it out of the theater.
Here are three tips to help you turn a hopeless night out with your boys into a dream date with the lady of your choice:
- Invite her over to watch Thor. Women love foreplay and what better way to get the juices going than watching the prequel? It’s a good excuse to get cozy while also getting her up to speed on who’s who, who did what, and most importantly, it familiarizes her with a shirtless Chris Hemsworth. >
- At dinner, tell her you think Natalie Portman is a great actress but too skinny for your taste. Even if it’s a total lie, you won’t lose points with this one. All it takes is this simple statement to calm every competitive bone in her body and she’ll swoon over the fact that you appreciate Portman for her craft and not her angelic face and perfectly petite build.
- Bring a towel for her to sit on in the theater. We’ve been promised another glimpse of shirtless Thor in this upcoming release. On top of all the hard work you’ve put in leading up to this date night, bringing a towel is the courteous thing to do. It shows that you respect the movie theater’s property enough to protect the seat from your date’s snail trail * and that you possess the foresight to plan ahead. Chicks love all of that.
*FOOTNOTE FOR THOSE WITH NO EXPERIENCE WITH WOMEN: Snail trail, n. Slang for moisture marks left on a surface from vaginal lubrication. Example: “She left a snail trail on the seat after we saw Thor: The Dark World.”
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