Nothing makes Ginger Clam happier than knowing that her little cracker pot, Lindsay ’28 looks 58′ Lohan, is safe and well.

Today we can relax because her crazy ass stalker, Daniel ‘try pronouncing my surname’ Vorderwulbecke has been hit with a restraining order courtesy of Westminster Magistrates Court in London.

Vorderwulbecke, 37, is all kinds of wacky woo woo – amongst other things he claimed he was Lohan’s husband and the Queen’s nephew.

Lovely Daniel harassed the staff of London’s famed Chiltern Firehouse and said they were keeping him and his ‘wife’ apart. According to court reports, he also damaged a door at the celeb haunt before doing similar damage to a bin at the nearby theatre where our lovely little Lohan was performing.

Vorderwulbecke was banned from contacting his ‘wife’ or from even coming within 100 metres of her. Heck, nobody squirts that far.

In addition to the restraining order, cracker pants was also given a 12-week suspended prison sentence and made subject to a mental health treatment requirement. He also got hit with two counts of criminal damage for good measure.

Vorderwulbecke was also charged with allegedly stalking Lady L, but he escaped that little problem when the star failed to return from the US to give evidence against him.

Lohan’s written statement was read out in court. Big boobs said:

“I feel very unsafe because of his threatening behaviour.

I have become nervous and am continually looking over my shoulder to make sure I am not being followed.”

In an email to Chiltern Firehouse, Lohan’s loopy ‘husband’ said:

‘Lilo is my wife I am closing down the place and calling the riot police if my wife is not a virgin, if it is a sex club and my wife is no longer a virgin you will regret it you will pay with your life.

I will kill you all, seek revenge on you all – let the battle begin.’

He sounds like a right laugh.

Upon sentencing, the judge pulled no punches and told Vorderwulbecke:

“On one occasion, she (Lindsay) had to be escorted by her partner such was the fear raised by your actions.

It is accepted by all that your actions were motivated by what can only be described as an obsession with Lindsey Lohan.”

We feel sorry for the little dude, Ginger Clam has been obsessed by Lohan for years. It is only natural. She is the ultimate Ginger Clam and smells of daffodils and gin.

Now get your asses to, where there are hundreds of free TV channels that you can watch on your desktop, tablet or mobile.

Take a look at what other celebs have been up to;

Colin Farrell was once a murder suspect

P Diddy gets busted

Boom, Taylor kicks ass!

Ed Sheeran sings duet with girl whilst shopping