The cast of Jersey Shore has added incalculable value to our culture since the show’s inception in 2009. From their contributions to our cultural lexicon with gems like “GTL” — that’s gym, tanning, and laundry, if you’re unfamiliar — to their tireless work undermining the good name of the Italian-American community, the kids who terrorized Seaside Heights are the perpetual children we love to hate and still — even after the show that created them came to an end — somehow can’t stop watching.
Unfortunately, it looks like the days of drunken revelry may be over for one of the shore’s prodigal sons. Returning to real life with his tail tucked between his legs, Paul “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio, recently admitted to fathering a child with a girl he met during his stint as a DJ at a Vegas nightclub. Pauly met the 25-year-old Jersey native in Sin City last year, got busy, and got a baby out of the deal — five-month old Amabella.
While other celebrities might try to deny this type of situation, Pauly has embraced his contraceptive shortcomings, telling TMZ, “I’m proud I’m a father. I am excited to embark on this new part of my life.”
Although Pauly’s baby may come as a shock to Jersey Shore fans, his kid is far from the worst branding move we’ve seen from this spray-tanned group of miscreants. Between Ronnie’s SMUSH cocktails, which look like melted glow sticks and will kill more brain cells than he has to spare, JWOWW’s Filthy Couture clothing line, which closed up shop after sex workers started calling the clothes “awfully revealing” and “too trashy for work,” and Snooki’s music label, which makes less sense than Snooki’s stardom, we’ve got to say that Pauly’s baby could be the best re-branding opportunity we’ve seen yet.
This may be Pauly’s shot at a spin-off, and while Amabella may scream, puke, and cry, he managed to live with a houseful of people who did just that long past their days in a Baby Bjorn.
For those eager to find the kind of babymama Pauly D scored with, you might start with FilmOn’s Hooters channel: