As some have already braved stores for the midnight release of the PS4, South Park has started a multi-part episode on the war between PS4 and Xbox One fanboys. ‘Black Friday’, both a riff on the annual nightmarish retail experience and the newest and inevitable chapter in the console wars, ties it all together using Game of Thrones‘ common refrain “Winter is Coming.” The lines are drawn between Kyle, Cartman and Butters, who are Team Xbox One; and Stan, Craig and Timmy, who are Team PS4.
The kids of South Park had thought a simple alliance had formed to work the numbers game to buy consoles on the cheap at Black Friday, through a door-buster deal at the local mall. They were a happy functioning group, preparing for battle, until Cartman had to be a little more vocal about the console he planned on purchasing.
And so, a shout went up from Craig, “HEY WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, XBOX ONES?”
Kyle, trying to reason with the PS4 alliance, explains that due to online gaming incompatibility, they needed to unite: “We all have to agree on one system. If some of us are on PS4s, but the rest of us are on Xboxs, then we all can’t play together online, see? This is all about committing to one machine.”
As with their previous hit episode about World of Warcraft, the South Park writers do a great job of pointing out the ludicrous nature of these sides’ differences, with moments that seem to be taken line-for-line from online forums. Kyle, shocked that Stan would get a PS4, says in a tone that sounds like he just found out a family member is dying, “Stan, the PS4 doesn’t have the seamless transition between games, movies and TV offered by Xbox One.” Stan replies, emoting even harder, “The PS4 controller has a touchpad interface. You never listen. I told you I thought the PS4 was better but you never wanted to listen to me, Kyle. You always had your head so set, because… because that’s how Xbox people are.”
Cartman, as he does, ends the conversation with cursing and belittlement, but still grounded in the kind of facts that fans waiting for midnight releases are arguing over in the cold: “Let these Sony f***s wallow in their limited voice-control functionality.”
Highlighting the shallower reasons why people choose one console over another, the show offered insight from their Goth Kids clique, “Of course we’re going with PS4s, they’re blacker.”
The mysterious Princess McCormick (Kenny in a blonde wig, with a pet mouse) may tip the scales in the war in the next instalment, as we are left with a cliffhanger ending, much like the public is, since the Xbox One doesn’t release until Nov. 22.
Catch the latest on the console wars, streamed live from IGN via FilmOn:
Miss Lydia’s guide to keeping PS4 and Xbox One from ruining your life
PS4 and Xbox One: Miss Lydia’s guide for women soon to be widowed by the powerful new consoles
South Park’s “blown deadline” episode, Goth Kids 3 to finally air