Gather around, Team Tolkien. December 13th is game day, the release of The Hobbit: The Desolation of SmaugIt is less than one month away and you all certainly have your work cut out for you. MGM and New Line Cinema just announced that advanced tickets will go on sale  this Thursday, Nov. 21 at 9 a.m. EST, and your hairy asses better be ready to play hard. Last year’s midnight showing of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey grossed $13 million in the United States alone. Are you prepared to top that? You may settle for mediocrity in all other areas of life, but this is your time to shine.

Have you watched the trailer? How many times? Tried the Denny’s Hobbit Menu? Streamed the freshly released soundtrack? Step your Hobbit game up and learn the chords and lyrics to Ed Sheeran’s “I See Fire” before every douche bag on American Idol starts auditioning with it. Sheeran’s contribution to the Desolation of Smaug soundtrack has already set ablaze millions of teenage girl panties since its release last week, so you have a lot of catching up to do.

Now ask mom if you can go on an adventure and get back out there!

While you’re waiting, soak up plenty of sci-fi and fantasy on Threshold via FilmOn:

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