The only thing better than hearing about a celeb feud go down in print is watching it happen on screen, and that’s what we’re hoping for with the current media fueled Mark Wahlberg vs. Tom Cruise battle.

Cruise made comments comparing a career in acting to a career in the military, using long stays away from home and family as the basis to his argument. Wahlberg has since been very vocal in his disagreement, and — through use of many expletives — unknowingly slammed Cruise, saying, “For somebody to sit there and say ‘my job was as difficult as being in the military.’ How f***ing dare you, while you sit in a makeup chair for two hours.”

Wahlberg didn’t even realize he was disagreeing with Cruise as his statement was said in response to a question regarding his role in Lone Survivor. The Boston native has since backpedalled, saying he loves Cruise and was not referencing him in his comments, according to TMZ.

Whether Wahlberg meant to take down Cruise or not, we’re hoping for a real celebrity feud, where stars actually go head to head in a real life Celebrity Deathmatch, almost like what was seen in the now defunct MTV Claymation show. A real life death match would include all the rock star-celebrity behavior of inflated egos and excessive alcohol consumption, culminating in both stars showing up ridiculously late to an awards show just to make headlines with an actual brawl that ends in their early departure to the after party, no doubt.

Hollywood feuds go way back–Bette Davis vs Joan Crawford, Errol Flynn and Everyone– but more recently, it’s been all name-calling and minor beefs that barely make headlines. The Kanye West-Jimmy Kimmel beef was short-lived, while the Miley Cyrus vs. Sinead O’Connor war barely made it past 140 characters. Anybody remember the Nicki Minaj vs. Mariah Carey battle? No? We don’t either.

With all these lame feuds on the books, we’re looking for a real battle between stars settled the old-fashioned way. But with Wahlberg professing his love for Cruise, we won’t get our hopes up.

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