Star Wars: Episode 7 ends its month of global casting calls on Sunday, Nov. 24, in none other than the country music capital of the world, Nashville. The film’s producers spent the month of November traveling to galaxies as far away as the U.K. and around the American Midwest, searching for the new lead roles of “Rachel” and “Thomas.”

But before you cuss out mom for not letting you borrow the car and crushing your dreams, I’ll save you the gas money and suspense: It’s not worth it.

Well, it is for whoever gets the part, but that won’t be you. For the role of Thomas, Cast It Talent is seeking a “young man to play 19-23 years old. Must be handsome, smart and athletic. Must be 18 or over.”

Handsome, smart, and athletic. I know, they lost most of you at “athletic.”

Sorry guys, you can’t Jedi mind trick your way out of this one. Nowhere in there does it say anything about super fans, homemade costumes, or owning obscene amounts of Star Wars paraphernalia. This is Hollywood, after all, and casting for the next installment in one of the largest movie franchises in history. While it’s nice of J.J. Abrams and Disney to weed through tens of thousands of weirdos in search of undiscovered talent, at the end of the day, whoever plays Thomas has to sell tickets, DVDs and T-shirts.

Still not deterred? You can submit yourself online until Dec. 3. Now let’s blow this thing and go home!

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