JRR Tolkein fans have been rejoicing ‘round the globe since last Tuesday, Nov. 5, when Denny’s unveiled its menu of dishes inspired by the upcoming Hobbit release: The Desolation of Smaug (Dec. 13, 2013). For the second year in a row, Hobbit fans now have a public place to congregate. Nevermind the fact that it’s Denny’s, there’s still more pussy there than feasting on fishsticks and Tang in mom’s basement.

The limited-time menu turns a Denny’s craphole into a Hobbit-hole with good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home. Choose from returning favorites like Hobbit Hole Breakfast and Dwarves’ Turkey & Dressing Dinner or take a walk on the wild side of Middle-earth and try Bilbo’s Breakfast Feast. If you’re feeling extra bold, you can even build your own Hobbit Grand Slam.

And in the unlikely chance that you have a female guest at your table, Denny’s even offers items sure to please non-Hobbits. Order the lady a Bard’s Pumpkin Pie Milkshake so she’ll have something to Instagram while you and your buds are nerding out on the rest of the menu. (Pumpkin pie-flavored things = chick magnet.)

Denny’s Hobbit-themed menu proves that alliteration goes a long way when naming dishes for the Tolkien crowd, and that at “America’s diner,” no one has plans to have sex anytime soon. The menu is available all times, day or night, so be on the lookout. These hearty Hobbit fans could be grand slamming a toilet near you!

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