Buckle up, gentlemen. We’re just two weeks away from the release of PS4 and a few whirls of the rumor mill from Xbox One’s official date. Take a good look at the man beside you because in two weeks’ time, one or both of you may never see daylight again. With the anticipation mounting at record speed, here’s a checklist to keep you and your comrades on track during these final days of waiting.

  • Stock up on bottled water. If you thought good hydration was just for jocks, think again. You’re an athlete of the mind and quenching your thirst is just as important to your game as the next guy’s. The empty bottles also double as urinals, resulting in minimal game time interruption.
  • Put in your two weeks notice at work. Many of you have already requested time off. But why not be proactive and just quit before you fail to show up on time, shaven, and ready to give a shit? Be realistic. How many vacation days are really enough for this occasion?
  • Shave your face baby smooth. This may sound sacrilegious after all those years spent waiting for your beard to finally connect, but I assure you, it will pay off if and when you decide to rejoin society. Starting with a blank canvas gives your new facial hair the opportunity to grow in as a masterpiece rather than a poorly funded Neanderthal exhibit.

For all the release updates and foreplay, watch IGN’s Daily Fix at FilmOn.com:

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