Hey white guys, no one wants to talk about Kung Fu – ever.

This may come as quite a shock after the prom nights you traded in for dates with the Kung Fu Channel.

But fear not. While you can’t make up for lost time, you can still change your destiny of being forever single with the ability to tangientally quote Bruce Lee and shutdown conversations at family holiday gatherings.

This is not because people hate Kung Fu or underappreciate Bruce Lee. We just hate you for talking about it. Your hobbies are nothing to be ashamed of, but Kung Fu is what I call a “superpower interest.” If this knowledge falls into the wrong hands, the results could be catastrophic – as you may have already seen. But with the proper presentation, Kung Fu is one of those hooks that can spark the perfect love story, like “We met on an airplane” or “He was my divorce lawyer.”

So what’s an appropriate venue to indulge in Kung Fu conversations? I’m sure there are plenty but I’ve yet to encounter one myself. While you figure that out, I do know this:

  • It’s not at parties.
  • It’s not at sports bars.
  • It’s definitely not with the Asian chick in line behind you at CVS.

Forget all the excuses you came up with for why the last girl snubbed you: Chicks only like assholes, she probably has a boyfriend, or it wouldn’t have worked out anyway because you’ve never set foot in a gym.

Rest assured, it was none of those. It’s solely because you mentioned your favorite Kung Fu movie. Now go. Make like a dragon and set some panties on fire.

Not ready to make the move to productive member of society yet? Then, by all means, indulge in Kung Fu Classics via FilmOn:

PS4 and Xbox One: Miss Lydia’s guide for women soon to be widowed by the powerful new consoles
Open letter to all the Moms as GTA V takes over our lives
Dude, Set a Course for Adulthood: Miss Lydia is here to help gamers with life