This year’s Muppets’ Thanksgiving special was hosted by Lady Gaga, who performed songs off her new album, ARTPOP. The show included SNL-quality lip-syncing with the help of celebrity and muppet friends. It aired at 9:30 p.m. on ABC last night, which gave most of us enough time to digest the obscene feast we all inhaled earlier in the day.

Even looking much like a muppet herself in those ridiculous wigs wasn’t enough to save the ratings. Only 3.6 million viewers tuned in to Lady Gaga and the Muppets’ Holiday Spectacular, and had the privilege of witnessing the catastrophically awkward performance of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Rather than heating us up for the holidays, it killed chick boners everywhere and sent women dry heaving out of open windows into the cold winter air. Gaga managed to do the unthinkable: Make Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s adorable awkwardness a little too awkward for us to bear.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside” is a classic holiday tune, best characterized by the playful chemistry between the male and female vocals (And perhaps never better than by the late Blossom Dearie.

It seemed like a good match up in theory: theatrical, global pop star with sexy Boy Wonder. Unfortunately, we were subjected to a performance that looked more like Smaug in a red gown sparring with Bilbo Baggins in a suit, set to some holiday jams. For almost two and a half minutes, viewers were suspended on the edge of their seats, wondering if Gaga was going to grow fangs and eat our precious Joseph Gordon-Levitt. We’re happy to report that she doesn’t, and that one viewing of The Dark Knight Rises was enough to resuscitate our chick boners.

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