The new Peter Pan movie may be the worst thing to happen to the classic children’s tale since Neverland Ranch.

Ever since Hollywood turned its back on original ideas, it’s resorted to revamping – that is, butchering – old ones. In yet another origins story, screenwriter Jason Fuchs put a new spin on the children’s book that hipsters hold so dear. Pan will be about an orphan who gets whisked away by pirates to Neverland. He finds out that he is the chosen one to save Neverland from the evil pirate, Blackbeard.

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And it’s also set in World War II. Obviously.

Amanda Seyfried is the latest member to join the cast as Mary. Her Les Mis co-star Hugh Jackman will play Blackbeard. Hopefully neither will sing. But even if they did, that’s the least of Warner Bros’ problems. Pretty boy Garrett Hedlund will play the role of Hook and naturally, a Caucasian Rooney Mara was chosen to play the Native American Tiger Lily. Let’s just say that didn’t go over well.

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But even with controversial (or terrible) casting decisions in tow, Warner Bros. promises an international world – whatever that means.

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