Jenna Marbles, Jenna Marbles youtube

At this point in life, you may be knee-deep in Lara Croft fan fiction. But it’s never too late to set your strained eyes on a new prize: Her name is Jenna Mourey, better known as “Jenna Marbles,” the queen of YouTube.

If you haven’t heard of her, you are in desperate need of reevaluating how you spend your time online. She’s a former go-go dancer who used her sassmouth to build an Internet fortune. This is nothing like ForBiddeN’s MySpace takeover. Jenna Marbles actually earns her keep and is worthy of your nerd boner. Have I ever steered you wrong?

You might also like: Jenna Marbles’ New Boyfriend: An obsessive, overprotective fan’s guide

Teenage girls love her and there are plenty of reasons why you should too (and don’t worry, she’s not a teenaged girl herself. She’s 27). Let’s start with five reasons:

  1. She has a potty mouth. This blonde bombshell drops more F-bombs and dick jokes in a single video than you do in an entire week of playing Call of Duty. But don’t worry, she’s dolled up just enough to bring home to mom.
  2. Self-deprecating humor. After decades of sexist asshole quotes in comedy like, “Women aren’t funny,” Jenna Marbles is a triple threat: hot, hilarious, and ready to make a fool of herself. Her video, How to Trick People into Thinking You’re Good Looking has more than 55 million views and counting. “Now it’s time to do your eye makeup. I like to use colors like black because it says, ‘I’m a whore.’”
  3. She understands men AND women. In the tough world of comedy, Jenna is an equal opportunist. She rags hard on female traits in videos like What Girls Do in the Car, What a Girl’s Nails Mean, and hones in on her own kind with White Girls in the Club. Guys get their turn in Things Guys Lie About and How Guys Pack a Suitcase. No one is safe, not even Justin Bieber or Pitbull.  The main thing is her videos are like a perfect primer for what the girls in your life—if any—are really thinking.
  4. She has a Master’s degree. She’s hot, but she’s not an idiot. Jenna Marbles is the proud recipient of a Master of Education in Counseling and Sport Psychology from Boston University. That’s beauty, brains, and balls for anyone keeping tally.
  5. She works so you don’t have to. Her YouTube channel has more than 11 million subscribers, which means video ads and merchandise sales that add up to a fat chunk of change somewhere in the six-figure range.

You might also like: Jenna Marbles guests on MTV’s Ridiculousness

Ripe for parody by Marbles is the Bikini Kitchen channel streaming free via FilmOn:

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