For those who haven’t heard, cable behemoth Comcast is set to acquire other cable giant Time Warner Cable in a $45 billion merger.
Before this can officially take place, the federal government has to approve. We’re really hoping that they don’t, but if they do, the new and not-so-improved massive cable provider will serve one out of every three homes in the United States, according to CNN.
For tose who think this could actually be a good thing, Los Angeles Times reporter Joe Flint has already noted that if nothing else, it doesn’t mean that cable bills will decrease anytime soon. Per Comcast executive David Cohen, the company is “certainly not promising that customer bills will go down or increase less rapidly.”
And that’s just the beginning.
What a perfect day for such a marriage.
Happy Valentine’s Day to Comcast and Time Warner Cable.
— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) February 14, 2014
…Unless you’re a subscriber.
There is nothing to love about the Comcast/TWC merger. Get your #NoMergerLove Valentine card here: http://t.co/9r0NBmL50R via @freepress — Mera Szendro Bok (@MeraSB) February 14, 2014
And no, we’re not talking about the board game.
Oh cool I love Monopoly RT @verge: Comcast confirms $45 billion merger with Time Warner Cable http://t.co/ekKX7qe0rx — Brian Ries (@moneyries) February 13, 2014
Here’s what the merger looks like in graph form. It doesn’t look any better than it does in text.
This is what the Comcast-Time Warner deal does to cable TV (it’s appalling) http://t.co/ycmzRt1GOI pic.twitter.com/a3copox1Cj
— Kevin Short (@kevinashort) February 14, 2014
And yes, we’re almost positive this is Comcast’s first big move to take over just about everything.
BREAKING: In surprise bid, Comcast moves to acquire the FCC. Promises no impact to service, predicts customers will be delighted.
— Rick Klau (@rklau) February 14, 2014
If you find someone who actually likes Comcast, please let us know.
Have just surveyed more than 100 stories written on #ComcastTWC deal. The only supporting voices are Comcast & “analysts” paid by Comcast. — TimKarr (@TimKarr) February 14, 2014
Why can’t our cable and internet prices match those in France?
French cable companies charge $40/month for cable, unlimited phone anywhere, and much higher speed Internet access. http://t.co/6c2Ro0JTjp — Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) February 14, 2014
Oh right, because then they wouldn’t be able to afford this.
Combined Comcast/Time Warner could afford Stephen Hawking to calculate a bundle priced so perfectly it would screw 100% of customers.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 14, 2014
These jokes are never going away. Not that we’re complaining or anything.
We’re all the people of Fort Lee; broadband is the GW Bridge, and Comcast is Chris Christie with no oversight: http://t.co/F4xvkWGngb
— Dan Froomkin (@froomkin) February 13, 2014
We can’t tell if this is naivety or really poor sarcasm, either way we’re still not happy about this.
Awesome now maybe we will get better service?… Comcast buys Time Warner Cable for $45 billion http://t.co/0WPc8C5qb4
— Kendall Williams III (@Maverick1760) February 14, 2014
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