Someone in Japan heard your prayers, you nasty perverts: Disney princess lingerie is now a real thing.
Once again, Japan has made your nerdy wet dreams come true by tapping into your creepiest sexual fantasies that somehow carried over from childhood. Thanks to a Japanese retailer called Belle Maison, you can spice things up in your basement bedroom for the low cost of $38 USD. Its “Disney Fantasy Shop” features bra and underwear sets modeled after Disney princess’ signature dresses. Every set includes bows, lace, frills and satin. All you have to do it pick your princess. How you’ll ever con a woman into your room in the first place — that’s another story.
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Just imagine, now as a grown man with a beard that almost fully connects, you can have your own Princess Belle without having to fight off a beast to get to her. If the brunette princess doesn’t do it for you, there’s Cinderella, Rapunzel and Aurora. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but BETTER.
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Already have a princess in your life? You lucky guy. Don’t be shy to ask her to dress up like one. It’s creepy, but so are you. Ease into it and start her off with Aurora. Tell her she can sleep through the whole thing to make it more real, and then work your way up to having her clean your room dressed as Cinderella. The key is persistence.
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