Oh Jeez, they’re breeding. It’s bad enough that Louis ‘oops, new girlfriend’ Tomlinson has spread his DNA, now it seems more 1D sprogs are on their way. Nature can be a cruel beast.

Reports today suggest that Liam ‘window’ Payne and Cheryl ‘married to someone else’ Fernandez-Versini are starting a family.

‘It’s very serious now between Cheryl and Liam and they have been talking among close friends about starting a family,’ a member of Liam’s ‘inner circle’ (yawn) told The Sun.

‘She’s content and while they’re in the honeymoon period, this feels like a connection for the future.’

Yep, getting your period on your honeymoon can be a real pain. Ginger Clam has had a few bad experiences.

‘Cheryl’s dream is to become a mum,’ a source close to the boney star said. ‘But she also wants to get her divorce to JB out the way and be able to have a complete fresh start.’

Why let a marriage get in the way of babies with other men?

Liam and Cheryl have been secretly dating since December, before going public with their shag action in February.

Cheryl is 78 years older than the 1D star, but she has so many tattoos on her ass he probably hasn’t noticed yet.

Who will the next 1D Daddy be after this invasion? The way Harry plays the field he’s surely going to slip up sooner rather than later…

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